Ghost Lab - TAPS lackeys at best.

Originally posted on Wednesday, October 07, 2009


Since I've heard word that Ghost Lab may be coming back, let's re-read my review of their first two episodes.


Ghost Lab - TAPS lackeys at best.
And here we go with Ghost Lab...


I'll try to keep from going into a narrative about the team as this is not as much a review as it is an analytical critique. Another paranormal show with people who wish to be 'ghost hunters' and want to be on TV. Enough said. The show is narrated by Mike Rowe who also narrated Ghost Hunters in the early seasons which makes it all too familiar.

The show began with one of the 'leaders' of the team telling his typical 'paranormal interest' story. During this account, shown on screen was "actual footage" he had allegedly taken in 1990 in Gettysburg of what appeared to be a civil war re-enactment. Of course, it was claimed to be actual ghosts of civil war soldiers. Sure looked like a fuzzy re-enactment to me down to the add-in artificial scan lines. I mean, it was VHS after all.

The show went on explaining what they do, with the word "science" thrown around more times than I could count. The first investigation took place at the municipal auditorium in Shreveport, LA. which seems to be trying to capitalize on the fact that Elvis performed there. If I am not mistaken, a paranormal conference was held there several months ago.

On to their "evidence"; The team laid out what they referred to as a "linear sweep" of independent data logging devices which were explained as logging temperature, humidity and "EMF". This consisted of a line of these devices down a hallway about 3 or 4 feet apart. First off, wouldn't that be more of a wash or row than a "sweep"? Upon checking the devices, they found that some had "spiked" from .03 mG to 1.3 mG. What I found questionable about this was that the particular data loggers that had spiked were near a water fountain. Water fountains have a refrigeration cycle just like the fridge in your kitchen. In fact, most of them have compressors of approximately the same size. So there is your EMF spike. They also claimed to have recorded an example of EVP at this point.

The EVP they captured seemed to be your usual whisper-like Hollywood spooky nonsense. They went on to recreate the EVP using one of their team members for comparison. They also claimed that it was "Class A" and that it was out of the human range. OK, if it is out of the human vocal range, then why am I hearing it on my TV? Why did he hear it on his speakers? How did the microphone pick it up? All these items are aimed at human hearing which is similar to the human vocal range. They went on to claim that it was a legitimate instance of EVP because the waveforms did not match up between the alleged anomaly and the human recreation. Just to make it clear, what you see on a waveform is measured in decibels(loudness). Whether the waveform matched up or not does not matter as we all speak with a different cadence. Not to mention differences in microphone placement. For the recreation, the recording device was held in hand and there is no indication as to where the device was when the alleged anomaly was recorded. I am sure that it is impossible to know where their ghost was. To go further, you could easily record the same phrase yourself and have different decibel levels in different spots. Try it. This was complete bullshit and a bunk analysis.

The 'leader' then went on to explain that he was not a scientist (yeah, we didn't know that already) despite throwing the word science around like a rag doll. He went on to say "quantum science", at which point I screamed obscenities at the TV as Mike Rowe briefly explained quantum science. It then cut to a supposedly real time video of what was claimed to be an actual scientist (Andreas Albrecht) discussing parallel worlds and the scientific method. The scientist told them they needed to come up with rigorous testing, right before being cut off.

There was one particular instance earlier where they thought a door had opened by itself. He asked his team member about it, who claimed all the doors had been closed. The next shot was a retroactive account of the door in question being closed by the team member. Of course, the camera was focused on the door knob being closed and not what the team member was doing. I find this suspicious and obviously planned.

They had a local band come and play 50's era music in an attempt to summon the spirits of the dead(if that doesn't say it all). A door mysteriously opened at this point as well.

He later went on to say they had a "butt-load" of personal experiences, "That place is freakin' haunted" before leaving for the night.

The next "investigation" was at Myrtles Plantation which they claimed to be "the super bowl of the paranormal".

To be honest, I had all I could take at this point and didn't have much interest in what was going on. They went on with the same run of the mill false Myrtles history, including the ear less slave-girl, Chloe. They then showed video a shadow on a wall from a previous investigation they had performed there.

They recorded some history professor reading some civil war era letters, to be played back later in what the leader termed as "era cues". I find this type of re-enactment thing somewhat interesting but he did not come up with the idea as portrayed. In any event, their 'family group' from Louisiana allegedly recorded the sound of a ghostly cannon being fired. Okay. If you say so. Keep using those low fidelity digital voice recorders, you'll get whatever you want.

The 'leader' felt a "cold spot" while sitting on the stairs of the plantation. They quickly summoned an infrared thermometer from an outside team member who then pointed the gun at the wall behind him. Nothing was found out of the ordinary.

At the end of the show the leader went on to claim that he felt that paranormal activity could be explained by using the scientific method and that he is going to blow the paranormal field out of the water. Good luck with that, Brad.

End credits roll.

This guy's banter is that of a frat boy that didn't make the A-team in high school football. The fact that he wants to "blow the paranormal field out of the water" speaks volumes and goes to show that he wants recognition and a nice pat on the back. Something must be missing in his life. Frankly, they all annoyed me and weren't all that likable compared to their plumbing peers. The rest of the team hardly had any camera time and barely got a word in anywhere through the gruff of the 'leader'. The fact that these guys claim to have been around for 2 years and are already on TV says quite a bit as well.

Don't bother watching this one, folks. These guys are TAPS lackeys at best. I hope they enjoy their fifteen minutes.



PART II:


Originally posted on Wednesday, October 14, 2009


Ghost Lab - Even more crap this week
And here we go again with more Ghost (f)Lab....


I noticed something different this time. During the introduction, as they describe the "lab"; The main guy is seen using a dropper as if he is doing something scientific. I will assume he was actually adding cream to his coffee and wanted a specific amount. I can't imagine why else a ghost hunter would need a dropper and Petri dish. I also noticed something else that is probably trivial; The flashlights they use include a large fluorescent bulb. This is a nice way to insure that you and everyone else around you has absolutely no adjustment to night vision (camera flashes and LCD screens do the same). How rude. I honestly wouldn't expect much else from these baboons.

I never thought I would ever see someone stupid enough to think that feedback from a speaker was activity from a ghost and go on to refer to it as a "personal experience". They, of course, spoke back to said feedback. Call the white van, folks, we got some live ones.

They used a Tesla coil in an effort to "supercharge" the environment. This was after describing how the lightning storm would have done the same thing. Um...OK. They went on to explain, in a matter-of-fact tone, that "Energy is what fuels the paranormal". OK, can you back that up with anything? What kind of energy? They also had another segment where they spoke via web-cam to an expert that confirmed how the area would be "charged like a battery" after the lightning storm. This went no where and as I remember was not discussed again at any length.

Now for my favorite part...*drum roll*...the EVP: In this episode, they once again attempted to claim that an example of EVP was legitimate using a fallacy. They claimed that the EVP was at a frequency below the human vocal range. In this case, 16.4 Hz. As expected, this was recorded on a Digital Voice Recorder with the internal mic. I've said it thousands of times. You will not record something that low if your microphone rolls off above it. "DVRs" are aimed at the human voice and NOT infra-sound. Furthermore, you will not hear it on your speakers and even more so, your TV.

I am sure that most people who read this own audio editing software of some kind. Here is what I want you to do:

1. Open Audacity, Sound Forge, or what ever you use.

2. Create a new file> scroll over to "tools" and find "Synthesis"

3. Open that and create a sine wave(or any of the basic waveforms) at 16.4 Hz.

4. Play it and tell me if you hear it on your speakers

You won't. Just as his mic, speakers, and your TV will not either.


They went on to capture a photo of what they referred to as a "shadow person" in a cemetery, in Tombstone. The photo was digital and very grainy, chock full of digital noise. You get the picture(pun intended). They claimed this photo was taken near another infamous "ghost" photo which was debunked years ago.

They ended the show with the second guy saying, "Man, we brought a lot of theories in here!"

They don't even have any hypotheses. No tests, no controls, nothing. These guy's stupidity is worn on their sleeves. Just two more idiots that someone put on TV. I think it is safe to say that Gary Auerbach is a bad judge of likable people. He did make Paranormal State after all...

Not sure if I will be bothering to blog on this show again. It literally hurt to withstand all the stupidity tonight. I seriously feel drained after watching this week's episode.